There is a good chance that if you have attended a mindfulness program, I have taught you, you have heard the story of Brian. I wish I could take credit for this brilliant teaching, but I learned it from Jack Kornfield, a world-renown Buddhist teacher.
“Brian, who has served a couple of tours of duty in the Middle East, is home on leave and decides to go to the grocery store. With a cart full of groceries, and a to-do-list arm’s length long, he is anxious to get on with his day.
He gets in line, ready to begin placing his items on the conveyor belt but can’t because there is a woman in front of him. In her cart is a baby, and in the basket, there is just one item. He looks over to the left and notices the other checkout line is designated for 12 items or less. Brian is immediately triggered. “Why isn’t she in that line? If she was out of my way, I could begin unloading this cart. What’s the matter with people, they can’t follow the rules? If more people would show up in the world like us Marines, things wouldn’t be the way they are today. That’s what we need—more conformance, compliance, and order!”
In the meantime, the woman approaches the cashier and begins to have a conversation with her. The cashier then begins to engage with the baby. The woman takes the baby out of the seat and hands it to the cashier. You can only imagine what is going on in Brian’s mind as he looks at the line behind him and rolls his eyes, “Really, today you’re going to do this? You are wasting my time.”
Brian is steaming as he waits for what feels like 20 minutes (which in actuality is barely 5), and he prepares to give the cashier a piece of his mind. At last, the cashier hands the baby back to the woman along with the one item she purchased, and off they go.
Brian steps up to the cashier and blurts out, sarcastically, “That must have been some baby!”
The cashier responds, “Oh, that wasn’t just some baby—that was my son. You see, my husband died in Afghanistan 8-months ago, and my mother has volunteered to watch our son so that I can work full time. But, every afternoon, she brings him in for a visit so we can see each other for just a few minutes.””
Now, notice where this story lives in your body and without judgment, notice how often you are like Brian.
As Victor Frankel, Holocaust Survivor, shared, "Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom."
Now, consider how
might your life, health, relationships, work,
change if you reacted less?
Studies show that we, as humans could have up to 60,000-70,000 thoughts per day. The problem is that 95% of these thoughts are the same thoughts we had yesterday and the day before.
This type of thinking is a perfect recipe for living in prison, a prison of our minds.Imagine the most powerful tool for stepping out of this prison and bringing more peace and calm into your life already lived within you. Mindfulness is a tool that is accessible to everyone, everywhere, at all times.
What does mindfulness mean? Simply put, mindfulness means, present moment awareness.
If you were to ask the Buddha what it means to be mindful, he would respond by saying, it's simple, when you sit, you sit! When you are in the kitchen peeling potatoes, you are just peeling potatoes! You are not checking your emails, watching TV, while helping someone with homework, you are just peeling potatoes.
There are a million ways to practice mindfulness. And, although meditation may be the most powerful form of mindfulness, mindfulness can be practiced all day, every day. You can practice while walking, while eating a meal, in conversation (simply listening rather than trying to fix and save that person) or even while expressing your creativity (writing, singing, dancing, painting, etc.).
Years ago, it was said that to meditate, you needed to sit on a mat for 1 hour while gazing at your navel chanting "Om." Several years later, studies found that you could get as much out of 20 minutes of meditation as you could 1 hour. Even more recent studies have proven that just 5-10 minutes is enough.
You see, it's not about the duration, but more importantly, it is the consistency that truly matters.
So go ahead and practice sitting or lying down. Practice first thing in the morning or the last thing at night. Practice with music, with mantras, or simply in silence. I invite you to explore and find a way that works for you. Most importantly, I invite you to remember it is a practice, not perfection.
If you are looking for more clarity, peace, and direction in your life through the lens of mindfulness and powerful coaching tools, please consider joining me for Coaching for Mindful Living, March 21-27th at the beautiful Kripalu Institute for Yoga & Health. You'll spend an entire week exploring your mind, body spirit, and soul for a truly transformational experience, I promise!