This week’s question is a powerful one. It can be one of the primary reasons we stay stuck, feel complacent, and often can lead to personal suffering.
As a coach, my job is to help my clients figure out where they are today and how to move forward. So, when people come to see me, they often are trying to shift an area of their life forward; their health, relationships or career. They may even desire more passion, purpose, joy or meaning in their lives. In the nearly 30 years that I have been helping and supporting individuals achieve their goals, I have discovered that one of the greatest obstacles that stand in the way is a person's beliefs, in particular the limiting ones.
I recall a woman who came to see me because she wanted to open a cupcake bakery. I had the pleasure of eating one of her cupcakes and told her they were so delicious, I would willingly wait a full hour in line for one of her masterpieces.
She then asked, "But Izzy, can I make money doing this?"
"Now remember, I’ve been in line for an hour," I reminded her.
She went on to share that she was also a mom and was worried—what if she had to make a choice one day between making cupcakes or taking care of her sick child? Once again, I reminded her that she was very resourceful and somehow, she would figure it out.
I’ll never forget the look of excitement that crossed her face, thinking of owning her own business and experiencing financial success—somehow, she would find the balance. This look only lasted for a few seconds because immediately that excitement was replaced with panic. Then she said out loud, “I guess there would be no more reason to stay in this unhealthy, abusive marriage."
You see, her greatest fear was not of failing, but instead of being successful. If she were to succeed at this venture, she would have to stand in her power and upset the apple cart.
Beliefs have the power to keep you stuck and small. They can hold you back for years or even a lifetime.
But, if you identify these thoughts and beliefs, then challenge them by asking "Are they true? Are you 100% sure they are true?" (Chances are no, they are not true), then you can identify a new thought to adopt. A thought that might help you get just a little closer to achieving your goal.
So, how do you identify and challenge these beliefs? Allow me to take you through some questions and an example to get you started.
Do you have a personal goal for this year?
How long have you had this goal?
What do you think is the excuse that is keeping you from achieving it?
What do you think is the cost of continuing to use that excuse?
Are you 100% sure that this belief is true?
Could there be new thought that you could adopt that might move your goal forward?
Now, imagine your goal is to lose weight. Perhaps you have been telling yourself you are too busy. With an hour commute to and from your job each day (that's 2 hours a day and 10 hours a week), you just don't have time!
As long as you keep being "too busy," you'll experience more weight gain, challenged health, a loss of confidence and you may even have relationships that suffer.
Now, what if you began exercising for just 15 minutes a day? Are you really too busy for 15 minutes? You might say that 15 minutes isn't going to be enough. But 15 minutes is more than you are doing now.
So, what if instead of being too busy, you began to think—my life is busy and moving my body will be how I start my day, even if it is just for 15 minutes.
Many of us can walk 1 mile in 15 minutes. If you walked 1 mile each day, at the end of the week it would be 7 miles. At the end of the month, it would be 30 miles. At the end of the year, you'd have walked 365 miles—just by starting with 15 minutes.
Our thoughts are our most powerful tool for change. Thoughts are like seeds—whatever you plant and feed will grow!
If there is a part of you that believes you are afraid, you don’t deserve it, you are too busy, it’s not your nature or perhaps you just aren't smart enough—then even the greatest intentions will be met by your underlying limiting belief. You must compassionately, explore and then challenge that belief. If you break it down to small, doable, baby steps, you have a powerful way to move forward.
Remember, beliefs are things that we are taught by the adults in our lives that if we practice long enough, we will believe are true.